I have this thing I do. Once a CD makes it to my car's CD player, it pretty much doesn't leave until I've entered a new season of the year. I listen to the same 12 or 13 tracks over and over and over until I actually start hearing things I didn't hear the first 100 times I heard them. lol
It's not really a conscious decision to do so. Mainly it's laziness. But this time, I'm beginning to realize the genius of John Mayer's "Heavier Things" album from 2003.
From the song, "Wheel:"
"And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it’s an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do
And that's the way this wheel keeps working now"
I've been turning over in my head the idea of starting my own writing business lately, and it seems like every time I'm thinking about a specialty while I'm driving my car, this part of the song comes up and I realize I have to turn my ideas toward more long-term endeavors if I expect them to last.
The book I've been reading about the subject, "How to Start a Home-Based Writing Business" by Lucy V. Parker, talks about how sometimes your original idea will fail and you'll have to come up with a new one. And so I've been trying to figure out if I would have the confidence and resilience to bounce back with a new idea or plan. And then these lyrics begin playing over my car speakers, from the song "Split Screen Sadness:"
"Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be"
Hearing him sing about looking forward to the failures and flaws so that he can become a better version of himself really gives me confidence. It makes the potential to fail a little exciting because it's just another opportunity for growth.
The other thing that worries me is that I just don't have enough experience or specific training to be my own boss and write professional-grade material. And again, John Mayer's jazzy soothing voice echoes in my little white Grand Am and gives me hope (from "Bigger Than My Body"):
"Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return
Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry"